Stoutonia

Issue date: 4/30/09 Section: Opinion

Media Credit: Marc Anderson

Facebook is one of the world’s most-used websites for social networking. Facebook has used technology to connect and interact people by adding friends, writing on friends’ walls, sending messages to friends, as well as doing an instant chat for those that are online at the same time. What was once  used primarily only for college students has been turned into a phenomenon being used by teachers, aunts, uncles, siblings and parents. There has been a lot of controversy over whether or not employers can use this resource to search for future employees, but there never is really talk about parents having an account. I had the privilege of interviewing two of my close friends from the University of Wisconsin-Stout on their moms’ Facebook accounts. Kelly Putnam is a sophomore in technical communication and Jen Ubl is a sophomore in business administration. They both shared some of their Facebook experiences with me, “mom-style.”

When I first asked them what their initial reaction was when their mom got a Facebook, Kelly said that she did not want to add her mom when she got a friend request from her. She said once her sister had added her mom, she knew that she had to. Jen said that when she received the friend request from her mom she just questioned whether or not that was a good idea. I am not sure how I would feel if my mom randomly got a Facebook, but I know that my mom is always sneaking around on mine asking to see my friends when I happen to have it open when she is around. I know that my mom is the type of person to tell me that she would rather not hear why I was up so late or what I did Friday night because she doesn’t want me to disappoint her, which for the most part, I do not. However, I feel if my mom had a Facebook, it would almost be beneficial for her to look at my pictures from a certain day or weekend so that she could see what I did and who I was with.

I asked both Kelly and Jen if they have any rules for their moms and Kelly stated three basic rules. She first said that her mom has to “explore at her own risk.” While Kelly does not have any extreme information or pictures on her account, she just warned her mom to pick and choose what she looked at. Kelly’s second rule was that her mom is not allowed to add any of Kelly’s friends, unless they request her first. Her third rule was that if her mom needed something from her, she cannot write on her wall, rather she needs to call. Kelly stated that she needs to call her because “she is my mom.” Jen had two basic rules for her mom. The first was to not write on her wall, unless it was something fun for the day. She also informed her mom to not snoop on her friends. If my mom had a Facebook, I would most likely have these same rules, but I may consider blocking some of the information or setting some of it to private.

Facebook Chat is a great way to contact people online. It is similar to a text message or instant messaging on AIM. I asked the girls if they ever Facebook Chat with their moms or if they find it annoying. Kelly said that she talks to her mom over the phone and if she has pictures from an event or school, they will sit down and go through the album together. When Kelly and her mom go through albums, Kelly will explain each picture so that her mom understands where she was and who she was with. Jen explained that the Facebook Chat is a little too complicated for her mom, and therefore they do not use the chat; rather, they send messages to each other. I feel as if my mom is up with technology because she works in an office and has good computer skills. My mom also is an excellent texter on her cell phone, so I believe that if my mom had a Facebook, she would enjoy chatting and she would not find it difficult.

I asked Kelly and Jen if their moms have ever looked at a picture on their page or saw a comment and questioned them or approached them for what the significance was. Kelly said that her mom once read through her information and saw something about Kelly enjoying running around naked. Her mom asked her if she did that at her cabin and Kelly just laughed and told her to “explore at her own risk.” Kelly also said that sometimes when her mom looks through pictures she will ask who the people are and what they were doing. Jen informed me that her mom respects her in that aspect (of privacy, pictures and information), but a lot of parents who have children that are friends with Jen will ask questions. Kelly and Jen both came to the conclusion that college can be stressful and hard and sometimes their statuses reflect their emotions at that time. They both admit to having statuses sounding like they are giving up and their parents will wonder what is wrong. Kelly said, “If I have an upset status, don’t call me. If my mom did not have a Facebook, she never would have known I was upset.” Jen replied, “Right. Sometimes I put up a status because that it what I am feeling at that moment—most times I can change it and get over it.” I fully agree with Kelly and Jen about the privacy issue and exploring at your own risk. I think Kelly said it best when she mentioned that if her mom did not have a Facebook, she never would know about some things that happen.

I am friends with two parents on Facebook, and I do not mind or really even think about the fact that they could be looking at my information. For the most part, I keep my information and pictures decent and if they happen to see one where I’m having “too much fun,” then they see it. I think life is a great thing, and that people should live it up for everything that it is worth. Some days you can be dancing around with a group of friends taking funny pictures, and other days you can be at a party or wearing swimsuits. While this may not look good on a “work application,” I think it shows that you know how to have fun and that you enjoy life. I actually have chatted with my neighbor (my friend’s mom) online, and she was really sweet and just asked me how school was going and told me that she missed me. It was nice to get an unexpected message from her, and when she told me that she missed me, it showed me that she really cared for me. I also am friends with my high school math teacher and she also started chatting with me one day asking about what part of California I was in when I was on spring break. We eventually started talking about my statistics class in college and it was nice to catch up with her. Facebook is such a great social networking connection and people just need to be cautious of what they put on it. I recommend setting your profile to private so that only your friends can look at it. While you think that your mom may never get a Facebook, wait for the day when you get a friend request and it is your mom. Just make sure that you don’t disappoint her.

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