Stoutonia

Issue date: 10/22/09 Section: Opinion

Media Credit: Lenn Soderlund

Halloween - the annual autumn celebration of All Souls Day, or All Hallows Eve. Although everybody's idea of a great Halloween celebration is different, there are always a few things that you can count on seeing at a costume party. Walking into a room filled with creatures such as ghosts and goblins, basically generic store-bought crap decorations, is quite likely to take place. Maybe you have a well-thought-out costume....like a group of people all doing a theme, or Michael Jackson, Farrah Faucet, and our good buddy here at the Stoutonia, Patrick Swayze. I know what you're thinking, and no, it's not too soon. For many Halloween party-goers, a good costume is crucial to keep their much deserved "street cred" and show off a little bit.

For the gentlemen costumes, your imaginations are your only boundaries. You could dress up as anything and it would work. Construction worker, police man, navy seaman, cowboy, Indian chief and Harley biker guy are all good choices. For the ladies costumes, there is a recent trend which promotes the idea that if you dress like a whore, then it's a legitimate Halloween costume. This recent trend usually involves the following items: a bra, underwear, tights, animal ears, a bunny tail and shoes. Many of the girls that are in costume are sexy cops, a sexy bunnies or "guess how much tape my costume used?"

When you come a across a well-thought-out female costume, it is the refreshing exception to the sexy -fill- in -the- blank- rule.

I don't think that young ladies today should be pressured into subjugating themselves to dressing up as every horny, young college guy's wildest fantasy on Halloween. They should do it every day. Costumes are more fun than regular clothes. I am here by declaring that every day should be good enough to wear a Frankenberry costume because you want to, not because it's "socially acceptable."

If everyone that you worked with dressed up like a wizard or Scorpion from Mortal Combat at work, that would make the day instantly more exciting. Putting on my giant zombie feet instead of regular shoes is fun, much more fun in fact. I do it all year long. I am urging all of you to dress up as Ernie and Bert or Big Bird and then go to class like that. Put on your gorilla or chicken costume, and then go grocery shopping. Dress up like death and stand outside buildings and near smoking areas and then look at your watch.

The best way for you to celebrate Halloween is on your own terms with people who are witches, or at least vampires. So chant some Wiccan chants, curse your choice of neighbors, and fry up some eye of newt, because every day is Halloween, if you want it to be.

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